Loving as Jesus loves

Homily for 5^th Sunday of Easter Year C 2016

Acts 14:21b-27; Revelation 21:1-5a; John 13:31-33a,34-35

Introduction

A few months ago, I gave my students an assignment in which they could write a five-page paper on any aspect of the priesthood.  But they did not like this blank check, because I was not specific enough in my expectations.  I got more grief over this short assignment than the twenty-page final exam they have to do.

Scripture and Theology

Jesus is better at giving assignments.  Not only does he say: "Love one another." He also says how we are to do it: "As I have loved you, so you also should love one another."  He gives both the homework, and how to do it.

Jesus does this because while many people know what love is, caring about another person, there are many different ways to love.

·        Some love as the golden rule says, by treating others as they themselves would want to be treated.  But this way of loving is rather limited, limited to how well I want to be treated myself, which can sometimes be a low bar.

·        Others love only their neighbours who love them back but hate their enemies.  Again this way of loving is also limited; Jesus said even sinners and pagans do as much (Mt. 5: 43-47); they love only their friends.

And so, Jesus is more specific with his command, saying, "Love one another, as I have loved you." 

How did Jesus love us?  Remember that Jesus gave this instruction at the Last Supper, the day before he was to die. In fact, before he gives this new commandment, he tells his disciples, "My children, I will be with you only a little while longer."  And so, this command to love is given as the last will and testament of Jesus, which he would put into action the very next day.

·        Until this point, Jesus had loved by teaching and inviting all, even sinners, tax-collectors, prostitutes, even the Pharisees to the life-giving way of God.

·        Until this point, Jesus had loved by healing the sick, raising the dead to life, by giving bread and fish to the crowds and wine at the wedding of Cana.

·        But now, he is going to love by dying on the Cross, giving up his life for the life of the world.

And so his instruction is not just that we love one another, which anybody can do, but also that we do so as he did, giving ourselves completely for others, without expecting anything in return.

Christian Life

In his recent document, appropriately entitled "The Joy of Love," Pope Francis spoke applied the teaching of Jesus on love to marriage and families.  Even as he mourned the difficulties that marriages and families face today, he insisted that the joy of love is to be found first there.  I encourage you to read the whole document, which you can find online or buy from the Pauline Bookstore.  But let me give you a summary of some points the Pope makes, in Chapter Four, using the verses from Paul's poetic description of love in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13:4-7.

According to Pope Francis, when Paul says "love is patient" he means that one who loves is "slow to anger" like God; for patient love does not act on impulse.  It accepts the other person as they are, as it slowly help them become better persons.  Parents do this all the time in raising children, starting them off with milk before giving them solid food, both literally and metaphorically, treating them first with kid gloves and only then later with tough-love.  Even spouses can do this.  In the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, Raymond's parents Frank and Marie irritate each other at every turn; but they also accept each other with patience, because they truly love each other as husband and wife.

The second quality is that "love is kind."  According to Pope Francis, kindness means being at the service of others.  When love is kind, it helps other people, it benefits other people.  There is no better place for kind love than in a marriage, where husband and wife give themselves completely for the other, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.  There is no better place for kindness than in a family, where parents give themselves completely for their children, and later where adult children return to give themselves completely for their elderly parents, because love does not seek its own interests, but those of others.

The next few verses from St. Paul, describe eight negative attitudes that are incompatible with love: jealousy, pomposity, arrogance, rudeness, selfishness, quick-temperedness, resentfulness and rejoicing over wrongdoing.  Pope Francis turns these negative phrases into positive suggestions for love in the family.

·        Instead of being jealous, true love values the achievements of each family member, recognising that God has given us different gifts for the good of all.  For when one succeeds we all succeed, when one fails, we all fail.

·        Instead of being boastful or arrogant, true love focuses on the other person, even when that person has less or knows less, for example, when their faith or its practice is not as strong or vibrant as mine.

·        Instead of being rude or harsh or demeaning, true love imitates the gentleness of Jesus to others.  As the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, only resorting to the vinegar as a last resort.

·        Instead of holding on to anger, even righteous anger, true love forgives, true love makes a sacrifice, giving up what is truly ours.  Loving as Jesus loves means we cannot hold on to old family wounds for decades, opening the scars once in a while to brood over them.  Rather it means forgivinglike Jesus did to his executioners on the cross saying: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Lk. 23:34).  The Pope advices families, "do not let the day end without making peace in your family.”

In the last verse, St. Paul speaks again about some positive qualities of love: "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  Pope Francis runs with these qualities and suggests some practical application for marriage and family:

·        "Love bears all things" when family members resist the urge to quickly condemn, to speak about the weaknesses of each other.

·        "Love believes all things" when the basic attitude in the family is trust, letting go of control, and so promoting transparency and sincerity.

·        "Love hopes all things" when family members know that each person can change, mature and become better, and most of all that "Each person, with all his or her failings, is called to the fullness of life in heaven."

·        Finally "Love endures all things" when family members bear every trial with a positive attitude, replacing every negative current with goodness.

Conclusion

And so, Pope Francis by applying Jesus' teaching love to the family, is helping us do our homework, teaching us to practice loving as Jesus loved in the family, before we can go out and do it in the world.  Despite the often terrible news in the media, every now and then you hear of men and women, who, loving as Jesus loved, starting in their families, take this love out of the family, onto the streets, into the workplace, many of them doing so quietly without seeking recognition.  May they inspire us to do well our assignment from Jesus, which will be graded, not by Jesus but by the world.  For as he said: "This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”